The bubble of summer fun that has enveloped me so comfortably these last few months has burst. I have taken a few steps out of this cozy cocoon and found myself a little outside my comfort zone. Between you and me, I think some challenge and change really needed to happen for me. And you know what? It hasn't been so bad!
Here is a list of things that have kind of rocked my world as of late:
- The real biggie, naturally, has been the decision to put Kieran in school. Yes, it's Montessori school. Yes, it's only three days a week. But still. He's been my shadow for five years. Sharing him with the rest of the world has caused me plenty of anxiety. Letting go ain't easy. But I think I'm doing okay on this front. And he's loving it. If he can do it, so can I!
- I pledged to abstain from refined white sugar for one week. This, for me, is huge. I adore sugar. I generally have at least one sweet each day, in addition to the sugar I add (often quite liberally) to my coffee. And when Moose Island Bakery came to town, forget it! I was done for! However, my need for sugar began to feel over the top and out of control. It wasn't making me feel good anymore.
As of today, I've surpassed my one week mark (it's been about 10 days or so). It hasn't been as bad as I'd envisioned. I've become more conscious of the food I'm eating, and I like feeling like I've gained back more control of what I put into my body. I'm even digging the coffee with no sugar. It's sort of a miracle!
- Another interesting development is that I have taken more of an interest in the food that comes into our house. Now, obviously I love to eat. But my husband does all of the cooking and shopping and most of the decision making about our meals. Heron is the kind of guy who goes to the store each day and creates some of the tastiest dishes I've ever eaten. I'm a lucky girl. But most of the food we eat does not come from the local farms in our area. To get local food, you need to be a bit more organized and shop at the local farmers markets or join up with the local food co-op. This is something that just doesn't work with Heron's schedule. And who can blame him? He's teaching all day and then coming home to shop and cook for his family. Well, you know who does have the time? Me. I decided that since supporting local farms and eating better quality food was important to me, I could actually take initiative and do something about it. Result? For the past couple weeks we've been eating some delicious and healthy foods grown by local farmers and other farms around Maine. And, it helps take the pressure off Heron making all the decisions about what we eat. I feel really great about this.
- And, oh yeah. I wanted to look different. So I cut my hair. I cut a lot of hair. Which was actually sort of a big deal for me, but at the same time, when it was gone, it was gone. My long hair was, in a lot of respects, very symbolic for me. Letting go of it has felt both scary and liberating. Again, as with the sugar, the hair hasn't been that hard to live without, even though I do miss it from time to time.
|I used to look like this. And actually, until recently my hair was even longer. I'd taken to hacking at it...|
|Now I look like this!|
- I can make myself accountable for the things I care about. So I might also have to make myself accountable to 250 Facebook friends. But hey, if it works, why not? Figuring out what works best for me is more then half the battle.
- With very little effort, I can make lots of change.
- Life circumstances have made letting go very difficult for me, but I'm learning (healing?) and getting better at it. It's feeling safer for me to just open myself up to the universe and all the possibilities that exist. I want my world to be big, not small.
- I'm getting braver with age, I think!